By Craig Soutar, Content Team Contributor
Regular readers of our articles will have seen our recent posts highlighting the new book ‘And how does that make you feel’, by Josh Fletcher (read more here), past sufferer turned psychotherapist specialising in anxiety disorders. As I sat down to compose a new article for the No Panic blog, it was thinking about Josh that reminded me of how important it can be, in recovering from anxiety, to rack up ‘did it anyways’.
Have you heard of a ‘did it anyway’ ? Does it sound like something a child would do when they are told not to? Well in some ways, it’s not dissimilar, though this is not about rebelling against your parents, but instead against the distorted messages that anxiety is sending you.
‘The anxiety cycle’
For any of you who have already experienced or read about Cognitive Behaviour therapy, you may be familiar with the concept that anxiety is maintained by a vicious cycle. It looks something like this:
One of the key tricks to improving your relationship with anxiety is to become familiar with this cycle and start to see if you can spot it playing out, before finally looking for actions you can take to interrupt that cycle.
‘Changing your behaviour for anxiety’
In this article, I am going to focus on the ‘Change of behaviours’ step. In the example above, the anxious behaviour was not getting on a bus. This supported all the anxious thoughts, feeling sna symptoms which suggested the bus was dangerous. Unfortunately, not getting on the bus has consequences. Not only did it stop them getting to where they were going, but it also reinforced to the nervous system that it was right, after all, if it wasn’t right, why would we have avoided getting on the bus – it must indeed have been dangerous.
‘Doing it anyway’
So thinking about the anxiety cycle, how could we break it using behaviours, applying a ‘do it anyway’ mindset? .. top points for anybody who has guessed ‘getting on the bus’.
Sounds terribly simple doesn’t it. You may even be thinking ‘duh, do you think I don’t want to get on the bus?’. Alas, often the right things to do in life are not easy … taking medicine is rarely fun, but the long-term benefits are generally worth it. In the case of the anxiety cycle, don’t assume that in suggesting this action, that a therapist or no panic staff member does not realise how difficult it is. We understand that it meanschallenging all your natural instincts, and takes immense bravery, but also be assured that just like medicine, the long-term benefits are worth it.
Presumably having summoned all your bravery and taken the bus ride, you are now free of anxiety, you’ve beaten it, right? People often think if they have ‘broken’ the cycle, they must immediately feel fine. However, your nervous system does not have an on/off switch – think of it more like a dimmer. After all, from your nervous system perspective, you’ve got on the bus and ok this one time you appear to have been safe, but it can’t assume that means you will be fine every time, so it will continue to present some level of challenge to you. However, over time, if you keep getting on that bus, your nervous system continues to update its records and adapting it’s response – that’s how over time, you find newer better responses.
‘What behaviours are worth challenging?’
Commonly when raising this topic, people assume this is all about big events, like getting on planes, or speaking in public, but it applies at every level of your recovery. It can be useful to sit with a pen and paper. Look for things in your life that either you used to enjoy or want to do now, but don’t do, especially if the reason is something like…. ‘because it will make me feel anxious’, ‘because I won’t be able to cope’, ‘because I will die’, ‘because I will go mad’.
You might be surprised to find you are avoiding simple things like walking down their street because they might bump into somebody and ‘…couldn’t cope with that’. This is why people who anxiously avoid tend to find their world gets smaller and smaller. Below are some examples in a few different categories to get you started, but see what you can notice:
| Big Challenges | Social Things | Physical challenges | Lifestyle challenges |
| Avoid getting on a plane, because I might panic… | Avoid meeting friends, because I’ll do something stupid | Avoid going to the gym, because my anxiety ridden body can’t do that | Avoid drinking caffeine, because it will set off my anxiety |
| Avoid applying for that new job, because the nerves will make me faint | Avoid going to an event in public, because people will be watching me | Avoid going for a walk, because the exertion may bring on a panic attach | Avoid watching the news, because I can’t handle anything negative just now |
| Avoid going to the supermarket because I might make a scene | Avoid doing your relaxation practice, because I might notice anxiety and I can’t face it |
Next steps
Hopefully you’ve understood the part that avoiding behaviours can play in your anxiety disorder and how ‘doing it anyway’ can be one of the strongest tools you have in re-educating your nervous system that you are fine and you can cope.
Try the exercise of identifying behaviours you are adapting for your anxiety. Once you’ve got a list, pick one or two and set yourself a goal to challenge them. You don’t have to do everything at once and you don’t have to go straight to the biggest thing. Also, remember doing it will still be scary, but that’s ok and you will be fine. If you need support remember our helpline is there to talk it through, open every day between 10am – 10pm on 0300 7729844. You could also consider signing up to our 1-1 mentoring service while you work through it. So please remember to be kind to yourself and continue to know that this will pass.
