By Natasha Devon, Patron

I’ve had panic attacks since I was ten years old. I don’t get them often any more, since I learned how to manage my anxiety with a combination of the therapy, the right meds and lifestyle changes, but they still happen to me occasionally. When my mental health was at it’s worst, I could have two or three a day.  

Panic attacks can manifest in very different ways. They don’t always look how you expect them to. Often, just before and attack, I’d become snappy and bad-tempered. This ‘aggression’ has been misinterpreted by people around me, because they didn’t know it could be a sign of vulnerability.

The main symptom I experience during an attack is feeling as though my throat is closing and this leads to difficulty breathing. I find it really unhelpful when people around me tell me to ‘just breathe’ or try to get me to do breathing exercises when I’m mid-attack. It draws more attention to the fact I’m struggling to breathe normally and makes me panic even more.

Instead, I prefer whoever is with me to ask me to name five things I can see around me. This also takes me out of the myopia I experience with panic attacks – I often become relentlessly focussed on one particular spot, so being encouraged to look around helps me to ‘zoom out’.

I also found it unhelpful when I was asked what caused the panic attack the second it was over. I’d usually be a bit discombobulated immediately afterwards so it felt like a demand for answers I didn’t necessarily have. Panic attacks don’t always happen for an obvious reason. Sometimes it’s a billion little things. Sometimes you need a bit of space to reflect before you can articulate what you’re feeling.

One of the best responses I had was from my brother. He rubbed my back whilst the attack was happening and then afterwards he said ‘did you see a owl?’. That’s a line from a comedy show we’d watched a couple of weeks earlier and we both burst out laughing. If you’re able to, it can be a really effective tool to laugh in the face of panic attacks, in my experience. It dispels the remaining tension in your body.

Generally, I think the right response to a panic attack is to not catastrophize but also not to minimise. I’ve had people literally just look, unmoving, at me whilst I’m having one, then afterwards tell me they thought I was ‘being dramatic’. Then there are those who get into a panic themselves and talk about how much you’re worrying them, or that they thought you were going to die, which makes you feel guilty. Ideally, you should give the person having a panic attack your full attention, but remain calm yourself.

Other things to do if you’re witnessing a panic attack:

• Get the person to sit down or at the very least to stand by a wall, so if they faint they don’t hurt themselves;
• Remind them that you are there and you’re not going to leave them alone;
• Check in with them later in the day, or the next day;
• Don’t force them to talk about it, but let them know that you are there if they do want to;
• Ask them what they need afterwards – Do they want to get some fresh air? Go somewhere quiet? Have a drink of water?;
• If the person gets attacks regularly, you can work out a signal they can give you if they think one is approaching. You can also ask them in advance what they would like you to do upon them giving the signal.