By Ruth Cooper-Dickson, No Panic patron

In some of my past articles for No Panic, I have shared how you can navigate feelings of anxiety when attending work socials or networking events. 

With the festive season upon us, filled with after work drinks, family gatherings, and Christmas parties, these feelings may be at an all-time high. So, what better time to follow up with some tips that you might find useful to adopt when meeting up with family or friends.

1. Practice with boundaries 

Being around family that we may not see throughout the rest of the year can create anxiety. Isn’t it strange that we are expected to get on so well with these people, despite only meeting up once a year or so? You might have a very different lifestyle to your family or find that they share very different views about the world – with even the smallest things ignitingdisagreements and arguments or even just heated discussion. 

There is also almost always that family member who has no filter and will openly ask you in front of everyone “when will you meet someone?”, “you have put on weight”, “when will you be having children?”, “how do you make any money in your job?” … I think we all know the relative or guest I am talking about. Before you meet up at family events, practice your responses and plan how you will handle the situation if it feels triggering for you. 

Protecting your boundaries can sound like:

​•​My reasons are personal, and I don’t have to explain them to you.

​•​I have my reasons.

​•​I’m not obligated to explain myself to you.

​•​I prefer not to say.

By doing this you can take the control of the situation. You will appear confident and hopefully shut the conversation down before it goes any further. 

2. Take a break if you need one 

We all need to take ten minutes away from everyone else sometimes – that’s natural. Whether it’s the relative starting to nit-pick on all your life decisions, or the idea of being around a lot of noisy people, these situations can quickly start to feel intense and overwhelming. Which is why tip two is to grab a bathroom break if you need five minutes. Run your wrists under the cold-water tap. Take some breaths and give yourself time. If you need longer, get out of the house; offer to pop to the shop to pick up something that is needed, take the dog for a walk, or simply go outside and stand in the garden. 

3. Ask for support

If you know you are likely to struggle with your anxietyduring the festive season, then try and speak to someone who understands. If it gets too much, they can be that wing person on the day looking out for you. You could even set a signal between the two of your, indicating that if you say or do something, they will know that you are struggling. There is no shame in this, and it can help you feel more secure knowing that you have someone in your corner who is looking out for you. 

4. Mindful drinking 

Alcohol and anxiety are never a good mix. If you do drink alcohol, be aware of how this affects you and how much you are drinking. Although alcohol feels at the time like it is helping you, by reducing your worries and taking your mind off your troubles, on the whole alcohol has a negative impact on your mind and body. It can also add fuel to the fire for family arguments and outbursts, which is not helpful when considering the increased anxiety the next day. If you know that alcohol will cause issues for you, come up with strategies to either drink mindfully or stay sober at the event. Swap out alcoholic drinks for low or no alcohol options, or offer to be the designated driver for the evening. Have an excuse ready if you need one for leaving the event and driving home. 

5.    Make time for you

Once the day itself has passed and you are back home, it’s important to self-soothe and regulate your nervous systemaway from those feelings of anxiety. If it was a loud event, try to be quiet and relaxed. You could take a bath or a long shower, put on your comfy safe clothes, and sit on the couch – or get in bed with a book. 

Feeling overstimulated can make you feel tired. Try to ensure you regulate yourself after an intense event to dissipate all the stress hormones. If it was a festive event that you weren’t particularly wanting to attend but felt you had to go, congratulate yourself on getting through it, and try not to overthink the event while recognising that next time it will feel a little easier. 

I hope you find these tips useful to navigate the holiday season – and most of all, I hope that you have a restful Christmas.

Remember, many people occasionally worry about social situations, but some of us can feel overly worried, before, during and after them. This can be social anxiety or social phobia, which is a long term and overwhelming fear of social situations. If you feel that your social anxiety is affecting your everyday activities, self-confidence, relationships, work, or school life, it is important you speak to someone to get help and support. 

You can call the No Panic helpline on 0300 7729844 every day between 10am and 10pm, or speak to your GP. Social anxiety is a common problem that you shouldn’t have to suffer alone. Your GP will be able to put you at ease and share treatments that might help you deal with the symptoms you experience.