We all have self-esteem, whether it be low, high or just right (to quote Goldilocks). At the very centre of your self-esteem are your core beliefs, these are the basic assumptions you have of yourself and are usually developed in childhood. If you have high self-esteem they might be “I am confident in making right decisions” or “I am kind and loving to myself because I am worth it”. For people with low self-esteem they may believe “I am not worthy of other people’s attention or love” or “I am not entitled to the good things in life’.
Self-esteem is the vision that we have of ourselves, the value that we give to our thoughts and behaviours and how we see ourselves as people. Self-esteem goes alongside self-confidence or self-efficacy – defined by the fact that they are confident in their abilities (e.g. I make an excellent Victoria sponge).
Low self-esteem can make life pretty tough and miserable. It can feel like a constant battle throughout life. A person with low self-esteem may show some of the following behaviours:
- Unable to make eye contact
- Avoid certain situations
- Fear of failure
- Scared of trying new or difficult things
- Unmotivated in taking care of oneself
- Feeling guilty
- Negative self-talk
- Comparing oneself to others
This can all have a huge impact on your emotions: (sadness, anger, anxiety etc.) and physically: (low energy, tension).
Self-esteem is treatable. Here are a few things you might like to try:
- Treat yourself as you would a good friend. Think about the way you talk to yourself, would you speak to your friend like that? Learn to compliment yourself.
- Learn to accept compliments instead of brushing them aside, thank the person and smile.
- Avoid comparing yourself to others. Remember that everyone is fighting their own battle and what people share, (especially on social media) is not their true self.
- Practice assertiveness. Learn to say no, this doesn’t have to be in an abrupt way but perhaps use phrases like: “Sorry, but I really don’t have time this week” or “Unfortunately, I am going to have to decline on that one”.
- Celebrate the small things. Acheiving goals, no matter how small is a good way to boost your self-esteem. Give yourself praise and even make a note of small successes.
- Look after yourself. Make sure that you are getting enough Sleep, have a look at your Diet, take regular Exercise, consider Goal Setting and have a go at Mindfulness
Whatever it takes to change those core beliefs ingrained in your mind. Have a go. Walk away from the negative behaviours and use whatever tricks and tips that you need. You are worth it. 💙
How can No Panic help?
No Panic specialises in self-help recovery and our services include:
Providing people with the skills they need to manage their condition and work towards recovery.
Our aim is to give you all of the necessary advice, tools and support that you will need to recover and carry out this journey. No Panic Recovery Programs