by Meghan Gamble, Mindless Mag

Meet my brother, Callum. Callum is 25 years old, he owns his own web accessibility consultancy business and has written a book. He is also autistic and has dealt with anxiety, depression, and the highs and lows of his condition for most of his life. eighteen-year-old Callum would have never believed the position that he is in now. Life has not been easy for him, however, with his strength and determination, he has managed to conquer the anxieties that once held him back. This article will reveal how Callum overcame his struggles and how you can do the same!

Definitions 

Firstly, it is essential to delve into some critical definitions that will be mentioned throughout the article. One important definition is autism. 

According to the National Autistic Society, autism is a lifelong developmental disability which affects how people communicate and interact with the world. Autism is a spectrum condition that affects people in different ways. Some difficulties that autistic people may share are social communication and social interaction challenges, repetitive and restrictive behaviour, over-or under-sensitivity to light, sound, taste or touch, highly focused interests or hobbies, extreme anxiety, meltdowns, and shutdowns. Like all people, all autistic people are different and have their individual strengths and challenges. 

Another important definition, which is the key to this article, is anxiety. According to the American Psychological Association, anxiety is an emotion characterised by feelings of tension, worried thoughts, and physical changes like increased blood pressure. Physical symptoms that an individual with anxiety may endure include sweating, trembling, dizziness, or a rapid heartbeat. Anxiety is considered a future-oriented, long-acting response broadly focused on a diffuse threat. 

Statistics for anxiety range from 6 in 100 people being diagnosed with anxiety in the UK and over 8 million people experiencing an anxiety disorder at any time. 

These statistics show that having anxiety is not a rare phenomenon and that millions of people will suffer every day because of the worrying thoughts that take over their lives. 

Callum’s story 

Callum recalls that he was told by our nan that he worries too much. As an individual not from my nan’s generation, this may sound very shallow and outdated, however, it was enough for Callum to gather the determination to get rid of excessive amounts of worry and anxiety. Because of this minor yet impactful statement from our nan, Callum has immersed himself on a self-development journey for years. Some things have worked, and others haven’t, however, the ups and downs have turned into growth for Callum. This is important because this is what life is about – the ups and downs, setbacks and achievements, making us stronger as people. 

Below are several ways in which Callum struggled and found himself in a state of anxiety and how he overcame this and learnt to deal with the emotion. 

When Callum began working after he completed university, he felt anxious every day. Callum recalled that he felt massive pressure from people to reply to queries and emails immediately. He found it particularly hard to do this because his autism means he has slower processing and can’t get to grips with what people are asking of him straight away. As a result, all the words would jumble up on the screen and he would send himself into a state of anxiety. The change he made to conquer something affecting his daily life was to take his time to reply to people consciously. He sat back, took a deep breath, and thought about what his following actions would be. By allowing himself to take the time to reply to people, he would formulate answers to the emails between tasks that he was working on. Callum saw that this eliminated the pressure he had previously felt. Whether you are autistic or not and find yourself in a similar situation to Callum by feeling enormous amounts of pressure from people to get something done in your work life, it is vital to put your needs and mental health first. The people pressuring you may have to wait an extra hour or two, but if you can do the job to your full potential in this extra time, then it will benefit all involved. 

Callum had anxiety about his social life, which I’m sure is something we all can relate to. Being autistic, Callum found it challenging to process what people were saying to him and read the emotions on their faces or their body language. He also had anxiety about how other people perceived him – he tried to change his voice, so it sounded deeper and was perceived as more masculine. He tried to change his posture to look taller and more confident. However, he realised this made him more awkward than before! 

Callum discovered that by going through this experience, he should leave it up to other people to decide whether they wanted to be friends with him or not. He accepted that he didn’t have to change anything to get people to like him. Ultimately, getting people to like you is out of your control. Let people think what they want to believe, and the right people will gravitate towards you. These people are often your true friends, which is worth more than trying to get everyone to like you. Callum developed this mindset by teaching himself to have an open mind, which got rid of much of his anxiety.  

Here is an important quote recommended by Callum: 

“Nothing that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it’s faced”.