by Fiammetta Gianni, Mindless Mag
CW: The following article includes descriptions of intrusive thoughts.
Intrusive or Impulsive?
“My intrusive thoughts won” is a very common phrase on social media, especially on TikTok.
Popular creators and one-hit wonders alike have entire videos about so-called “intrusive thoughts”, that range from cutting their hair at 3am to touching hot plates they know they shouldn’t.
These are impulsive thoughts. While they do sound similar, there are very clear differences: impulsive thoughts are ideas that appear in a person’s head as intense and strong urges to act in ways that are considered taboo. People may feel shocked or amused by these thoughts, and they may even act on them.
These are not graphic scenarios of things a person doesn’t want to happen, and they are not repetitive thoughts around your loved ones plotting against you or that something is going to happen to them with no evidence.
These kinds of thoughts can leave a person feeling distressed and anxiety-ridden for hours or even days at a time. I have personally struggled with them for most of my life, and I feel that they are not spoken about enough.
What Are Intrusive Thoughts?
As mentioned, intrusive thoughts are different as they are always unwanted. The subject matter varies, but they are unwanted, repetitive thoughts that can appear in our heads without warning and can cause severe distress.
The key aspects of these thoughts are the repetitiveness of them and the fact that they do not align with the person’s real thoughts and feelings. This is the main ingredient, and it causes people to feel guilt or excessive introspection, as if trying to decide if they really feel those things.
The obsessive and compulsive nature of these thoughts are a core part of OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder), so much so that they give it their name.
They can also be part of General Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). They may also happen in response to hormone changes, for instance after a person gives birth.
Categories of Intrusive Thoughts
Not all intrusive thoughts are made the same way. There are as many different stressors as there are people in the world, but generally they are split into 5 categories:
- Health
Thoughts of worry about themselves or loved ones getting sick or dying with no evidence. - Religion
Thoughts about trauma related to religion, or if you are a believer, you may find yourself thinking about disrespecting your own place of worship. - Sex/Sexuality
Some of the most confusing and debilitating, these can be memories of unwanted sexual contact or confusing thoughts about your own sexuality. - Aggression
Alongside the sexual intrusive thoughts, these are the ones that are the scariest. They may include feelings of hurting your loved ones even when you have no desire to. - Social Taboos
I find these to be the most confusing ones, and they are the most impulsive thoughts. Often things like starting to shout obscenities in public or pour a drink on someone for no real reason.
I have had a combination of all of them at least a few times, and I find that besides the thought itself, even thinking about telling anyone is the worst part of it. The anxiety of potentially being told to just shake them off is often too much to bear.
A lot of people have these thoughts and can shrug them off. However, if they are so repetitive, they interrupt your day to day life, as is often the case in my own experience, you should know that specific help does exist. So, what can be done?
Coping with Intrusive Thoughts
This is some advice I have gathered from living with them for some time and having a solid support system around me. Some are more anecdotal and some are suggested in blogs, feel free to take what works and forget what doesn’t!
- Firstly, don’t not suppress the thought. It’s easy to act like the thought wasn’t there in the first place out of fear for what it means for you as a person. Have a glass of water and remind yourself that you are not your thoughts, especially not those that you find distressing.
- Secondly, it’s important to distinguish between thought and reality. A little reality check can be very useful in the second part of reacting to an intrusive thought. This can be through calling a friend and asking them to reassure you about things, petting your dog, drawing a small doodle on some paper.
- Finally, think about the situation(s) that triggered the thought. Is it what someone said in a conversation? Did you read something online? Is it something you can control or is it something you have to take a step back from? Asking yourself these questions can help to ground you even more by taking steps to be back in the moment.
I still have intrusive thoughts some of the time, but I can deal with them a lot better thanks to these tips in grounding myself, and I hope you will find them helpful too.
If these steps aren’t helpful, talking it out in therapy is an excellent way to find constructive ways to deal with these thoughts. They might recommend Cognitive Behavioural Therapy or medication. It’s a scary step, but one that will help in the long run.
In conclusion, intrusive thoughts are repetitive, unwanted thoughts that are distressing, and are a core feature of OCD among other anxiety disorders. They can range in categories that include aggression, health and unwanted sexual memories or thoughts. Some ways to cope include grounding yourself in the present moment and potentially talking to a therapist. I hope this article has helped those of you struggling, you are not alone, and you are not your thoughts.
