By Lily Hirst, Content Team academic.
One of the most common mental health conditions affecting today’s young adults is anxiety. While the effects of anxiety on family relationships and academic achievement have attracted a lot of attention, its effect on friendships gets more pushed aside. In young adulthood, friendships play an essential part in developing an identity and emotional growth. Worry may alter friendship, trust, and communication when it enters the social relationship. The effects of anxiety on young adult friendships can create issues that may negatively impact a friendship. When communication hasn’t been used, for example, opening up to your peers/friends is very important, but anxiety can eat you up inside and make you feel as though those you know, and trust won’t understand.
Young adulthood, which is often described as the ages of 18 to 29, is a stage of life that involves increased independence, identity exploration, and the development of long-lasting connections. During this time, friendships frequently offer support, social approval, and closeness emotionally. These relationships take more work on both sides to sustain than those formed during childhood or adolescence. As a sufferer of anxiety, I personally often think about things more than once to check over if I said the right thing at the right time, to see if I sounded ‘weird’. Anxiety creates a little voice in our heads that makes us second-guess ourselves, and this is a key factor in what makes sustaining friendships harder for young adults who suffer.
Excessive worrying, avoidance behaviour, overthinking, or hypersensitivity to social cues are all signs of anxiety. People’s perceptions of social relationships can be affected by these symptoms, which can result in misunderstandings. A young adult with social anxiety, for example, can shy away from social situations or find it difficult to approach others, even close friends.
The focus is often on having anxiety but never on how to support a friend or close acquaintance that suffers from anxiety. Anxiety isn’t something that is naturally understood; even sufferers don’t always understand their feelings. Educating yourself on anxiety as a sufferer or friend of a sufferer is useful, as by learning about the symptoms and effects, you can approach the situation with empathy over frustration. Another appropriate approach as a friend is listening without judgement.
As somebody who suffers and admittedly struggles day to day with anxiety, I feel as though you as an individual must understand the effects your anxiety has on your social behaviours and self-reflect on your patterns in your behaviour for example needing excessive reassurance, over-apologising and avoiding conflict. Practicing self-awareness is important as it helps you understand why you’re feeling that way and even what your feeling, identifying triggers helps sufferers respond in a calmer manner and helps them avoid panicking.
Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is a form of talking therapy where a therapist helps you to change how you look at things. This is a treatment recommended for anxiety, social anxiety and OCD. Cognitive behavioural therapy is efficient, as it is used to identify and restructure negative thoughts and to help people who are distressed. Cognitive behaviour therapy has been shown to be effective.
It can be difficult to manage anxiety in friendships since it’s difficult to open up and fear that they won’t understand, am I right? However, when you have the chance, talk honestly with your friends about your anxiety symptoms and how they make you feel. This will help them understand that anxiety causes you to act in certain ways. Unfounded negative ideas, such as “They’ll be mad at me” or “Am I bothering them?”, are frequently triggered by anxiety. Stop and think about these negative thoughts. When you’re anxious, your brain tends to make worst-case assumptions. You can’t let yourself believe this or let it negatively impact your friendships because these thoughts aren’t real and need to be questioned.
Setting realistic expectations is another strategy for reducing anxiety in friendships. For instance, friendships don’t always call for continuous planning or communication; it’s acceptable to take your time to improve yourself or to answer slowly. Respect your friends’ boundaries as well as your own; it’s okay if they need time alone or are engaged in other activities at certain times.
Not only is it possible for someone with anxiety to make and keep friends, but it’s also incredibly fulfilling. Living with anxiety can make relationships and friendships feel a little bit more complicated, but in fact, the self-awareness that comes with anxiety and the care that projects from your thoughts already show meaningful signs to your friends and family.
People with anxiety can build solid, emotionally nourishing relationships if they use deliberate techniques, self-awareness, and encouraging communication. A strong defence against the isolating effects of anxiety can be provided by friendships. But remember you do not need to be constantly present to be a good friend; small gestures, thoughtful gestures and honesty are still being a good friend. Anxiety can often make us worry we aren’t doing enough, but even being a friend that’s there and listens is still being an amazing friend. There are multiple benefits of friendship for sufferers of anxiety. According to Life and progress (2024) in the news and views article friendships are described as “the bedrock of social support systems” this emphasises the importance of friendships and highlights how much friendships positively impact peoples social support systems meaning sufferers with anxiety have a natural support system helping them, and this shows the importance of having friendships when suffering. They explained the benefits of friendships for sufferers as” it provides a sense of community where individuals feel understood”.
Although anxiety is a part of you, but it doesn’t have to rule your friendships. Allow your anxiety to increase your sensitivity and self-awareness rather than making you feel alone or like a burden. Viewing things differently is also expressed in cognitive behavioural therapy sessions. Set reasonable boundaries, be truthful with your friends, and express your concern in ways that are easy to handle. Anxiety can exist in a strong connection without defining it. Have faith that your friends value your true self, not your flawless performance. Allow worry to teach you to be kind with both yourself and other people. Keep in mind that connection only requires honesty, effort, and respect for others rather than perfection and social focus.
References:
NHS (2025). Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). [online] nhs.uk. Available at: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/talking-therapies-medicine-treatments/talking-therapies-and-counselling/cognitive-behavioural-therapy-cbt/.
Kaczkurkin, A. and Foa, E. (2015). Cognitive-behavioral therapy for anxiety disorders: An update on the empirical evidence. Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience, [online] 17(3), pp.337–346. doi: https://doi.org/10.31887/dcns.2015.17.3/akaczkurkin
Life & Progress. (2024). The Mental Health and Wellbeing Benefits of Friendship and Social Groups – Life & Progress. [online] Available at: https://www.lifeandprogress.co.uk/latest-news/the-mental-health-and-wellbeing-benefits-of-friendship-and-social-groups/.
