By Melissa Fleur Afshar, Content Team Contributor
We’re often encouraged to hide away our fears and anxious feelings, putting on happy faces no matter what instead. Sometimes, it can seem easier to cope that way. You don’t need me to tell you that anxiety, panic and racing thoughts are extremely uncomfortable and distressing. The intense physical symptoms that I would suffer from were enough to lead me to believe I was having a heart attack. But what if embracing that anxiety could actually help us feel better? I’ve found that facing anxiety head-on can not only ease those tense moments but also pave the way for healing.
I’m a journalist, and my job can be as stressful as it is exciting. Couple that with my busy personal life and the demands of adulthood we all face, and I often feel stressed, anxious or overwhelmed. Sadly, these intense pressures have led to me facing some pretty tough times.
My first instinct, whenever I felt anxious, used to be to run away—sometimes literally as I was often in a state of fight or flight—but I’ve learned that actually turning to face those feelings, instead of relying on other people or external factors to help distract and reassure me, is where healing can start.
This approach to anxiety isn’t a quick fix; it’s more about uncovering and understanding our emotions, which has helped me learn how to manage them more effectively over time. And it certainly doesn’t mean that I don’t talk to my friends and family about how I feel, or that others shouldn’t find comfort in the empathy of others. I mean that by sitting with my anxiety, recognizing its presence, and applying various techniques, I can reassure myself that I’m safe and take back control from those overwhelming thoughts and feelings all on my own.
Facing Anxiety
When anxiety kicks in, it’s like our bodies’ alarm systems are going off, warning us of danger, either physically or emotionally. But what if we could change the message those alarms are trying to send? Through a lot of practice and patience, I’ve started to see these anxious feelings not as doom and gloom but as an overly cautious friend who simply means well. In a nutshell, that’s why we experience stress: Because our body thinks it will help keep us safe. This change in perspective starts with just being with the anxiety, not fighting it but understanding its intentions.
Once I figured this out, I’d tell myself in moments of panic: “You are safe, everything is okay.” This doesn’t make the anxiety vanish, but it helps smooth out its rough edges, making it a bit more manageable and a whole lot less scary. After all, while the waves of anxiety and panic can be incredibly scary, they are normal human reactions to things we have perceived as being stressful or threatening. Reaffirming that what I am experiencing is normal, tones that alarm bell down a few notches. This can then open the door for me to use coping strategies that actually work and are easy to practice.
I rely a lot on methods like Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) tapping, deep breathing exercises, and meditation. Each of these helps bring me back to the present moment, dissolving immediate fears and slowing my racing thoughts. I also find that physical activities like walking, dancing, or losing myself in a good book once I’ve started to feel a bit more grounded not only distract but also reconnect me with my body, reinforcing a sense of safety within.
These methods aren’t magic, and some days are certainly harder than others. But each time I manage to find a moment of peace by handling anxiety head-on, I’m building up my resilience and trust in myself. By leaning into feelings of anxiety instead of shunning it, I’m slowly taking away its power to unsettle me. Instead, I try to listen to my body and understand what those feelings are telling me. For me, that often translated into “something bad might happen,” or “you are not safe.”
Once I’ve been able to calm down a bit by regulating my nervous system, I can then continue to tell affirm that I am safe, even with those stressful thoughts and anxious feelings.
Taking on anxiety is definitely a challenge—it’s not for the faint of heart. But it’s worth it for the deeper connection I’ve forged with myself and for the arsenal of tools I’ve gathered to not just handle anxiety but to enjoy my life and career despite it.
I’ve come to realise that for me, thriving in the face of anxiety isn’t about fighting it; it’s about understanding and embracing parts of myself and thoughts that I once feared, turning an old enemy into a trusted guide towards emotional balance.